Speed Dating: The DateSwitch Event

Fate happens in various ways. Originally I was to attend a party at Lois’s on this past Saturday night. As it turned out Lois and her teenage girl fell ill with a stomach flu or virus and had to postpone their party. 

Upon learning of Lois’s party being pushed out, Jackie jumped online, confirmed there was availability for the speed dating event that was planned for that same Saturday, and sent me an email with a link to the event’s site. The women were sold out but there were still openings for men. 

 I created an account and secured my spot…

Now I’ve never attended one of these events and I’m not sure what to expect. I was at Jackie’s desk and was talking about the event. Jean and another female co-worker overheard our conversation and joined in. 

Jean suggested I check out some of the bar scenes for older folks. I told her, “I’m not into the bar scene.” Jackie was quick to the draw, “I didn’t know there were bars specifically for ancient people!” We laughed. Jean sent me a link to the website with the list of bars. I recognized one of them as it’s the same bar that one of my male co-worker’s alter ego played the day after Christmas, which I talked about in a separate post. 

The female co-worker who overheard Jackie and my conversation mentioned she tried speed dating before and advised, “Go with an open mind and don’t have any expectations. Just have a good time.” She continued, “I went with a friend because I didn’t want to go it alone.” 

I responded, “I don’t have a single guy or girl to go with me.” I pointed to Jackie and shook my head while saying, “I would take her, but she can’t because she’s married. Jackie quickly replied, “I would go just to talk you up!” What a great friend Jackie is. 

Since I’m wingmen and wingwomen impaired, I’m flying solo to this event…

Per the email received after registering for the DateSwitch event, I’m to be at the event around 7:15 which was 15 minutes prior to its official start. 

On Saturday, I started laying out my attire around 2pm. You’re probably asking, “Why are you planning so early?” First impressions are everything, right? Because I’m customarily overly early and want to be prepared for the unknown, I planned to be at the location at least 30 minutes before the registration time…which was about 6:45 that night. 

I’m glad I planned to be that early as the location was downtown and I’m unfamiliar with the area. It took the additional 30 minutes to find parking and I arrived just in time to collect my name tag and purchase a glass of Pinot Noir.

 The venue was at a bar called Hobos and was nestled among other bars and night clubs. I found parking three blocks away at one of those pay to park lots. The scene walking to the location was filled with a much younger crowd (20’s & 30’s) as well as vagrants begging for spare change. 

The DateSwitch event was secluded to half of the bar where the tables were setup to seat a single couple. This provided a more intimate setting for conversations. Each table was numbered 1 through 25. 

Upon checking in, I also received a pamphlet with the list of the women and their assigned tables. My name card also had a number which indicated the table I was to start at. My number was 18. 

At the start of the event, the organizer provided a quick review of the rules and announced there would be an intermission after about the ninth switch. I thought the rules were simple and one wouldn’t get them confused. Basically the men would progress from 1 through 25. I’m starting at 18, so my cycle would be 18 through 25 then 1 through 17. 

Simple right? I guess after a few rounds of drinks, it becomes harder to count…for some men. 

After a few minutes delay, the switch event started. Of the 25 women on the list, only 20 showed. By the end of the event, there were 19 women remaining. I found a note on my last station that the lady left the event because she was too intoxicated to continue. I chuckled to myself, “Wow! She must have been overly nervous and shot back one too many drinks!”

 It’s okay. This break provided me time to collect my thoughts of the 19 women I met and jotted some notes. I found three that I would like to pursue a possible second date. The catch was the women also would want to pursue me as well. 

We were instructed to access the event website within 48 hours after the event ends and select the “Yes” option next to the person you want to have a second date with. If and when there’s a match, our email addresses would get exposed to each other. 

The event ended around 10:30. I gathered my jacket and left Hobos bar…

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #textdating #loveletters #wingwomen #speeddating

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Online Dating: week 8

As I discovered last week my intro messages were boring and mechanical. So the week’s agenda was to go back and revamp each of the previous messages sent and make them unique, relevant, and personal. I’ve also added a call to action by suggesting a meet up at a public location to see if there’s a connection. 

I’m finding some of the profiles I’ve sent messages prior to had no meat in their stories or descriptions. So I’m putting those on the back burner. I guess I selected them based on their profile pictures alone. I’ll figure out a way to pull information or maybe I’ll just skip them altogether. 

I did something different this week… 

 With Jackie’s prodding, I attended a speed dating event. I’ll detail the event in a separate post and if I find a match I’ll describe that as it unfolds. 

For this week’s summary (these are collective numbers)

  • eHarmony: 47 icebreakers initiated; 3 responded (which includes the no show I talked about in last week’s post)
  • Match.com: 27 messages sent with one of them as an upgraded message; one response. Then there was Shelli who initiated the conversation that I detailed the events in a separate post – it’s a doozy but worth the read 
  • Zoosk: 40 messages; no responses 
  • Speed dating: 19 face to face “first dates”. Although each date lasted 5 minutes, I’m counting them because there were interaction between the two of us instead of just one sided conversations. 

So online dating – 4 responses out of 104 conversations initiated. Response rate fell to 3.8% or a 1:26 ratio and still resulting in zero dates.

Speed dating – 19 responses out of 20. One of the ladies left because she became too intoxicated to continue. Imagine that! So 19 actual first dates! Bam!

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #textdating #loveletters #wingwomen #speeddating

Leavenworth, WA Snowshoeing (Day 2)

On the way back to my son’s apartment, we decided we would start out earlier in the morning and would take the third option over Mt. Baker. 

Sunday morning arrived, we woke early and headed out the door by 8:30am, stopped by a local coffee house and ate our breakfast and sipped our coffees. We were on the road by 9. 

We reached Leavenworth in about 3 hours, parked Betsy where we parked her the day before, and met up with a childhood friend of my son’s girlfriend at one of the restaurants that served bratwurst and sauerkraut. 

 In talking with some of the locals, this year’s snow fall was more than the past several years. So Mother Nature was providing the scenic backdrop for refueling my spirit. 

By noon, we secured our snowshoeing gear and headed out to one of the local trails called Icicle Road which meandered and followed the Wenatchee River.  

The signage normally visible during the summer months were covered with the snow drifts. So we guessed where the actual trailhead started. 

 Our first stop, we got out and tested our gear, had a snow ball fight and goofed around like kids. So basically three 30 something and a 50 year old became 8 and 10 year olds again. It was a blast!

After about 30 minutes of horsing around we set off on our snowshoeing adventure. After about a mile we came to another location that looked like the beginning of the actual trailhead. Like I mentioned previously the trail markings were covered by snow. 

So we hiked a little longer (about another half mile) all the while thinking we didn’t drive far enough. We collectively made the decision to go back to our vehicles and drive further down Icicle Road. 

We drove about 5 miles and found other cars parked and thought this has to be it. So we piled out, geared up, and headed down our assumed trail.  

We snowshoed another 2.5 miles and stumbled on the actual trailhead head. Oh well, “We all thought! We got our hike in and then some!” 

We continued and found a bridge that crossed over the Wenatchee River. The scenery was incredibly beautiful. My refueling is more than half full now.  

On the way up to the bridge, we encountered cross country skiers and I thought, “Wow! I’d like to try that sport one day!” Maybe I said it out loud as my son responded, “No way! That’s too hard!” 

We stayed a while at the bridge watching and taking in nature. It was completely mesmerizing and breathtaking to just be in the still of nature. We stayed for half hour longer. By this time our daylight was fading into dusk and we decided to head back to our vehicles. 

 It’s truly amazing how nature unfolds itself as the light of the day fades into night. By the time we returned to our vehicles my refueling was completed. 

We packed our gear into Betsy’s bed and headed back into town to return our equipment. We decided to stop and grab a bite before heading back. 

While on the trail I decided to do 25 trails this year (2016). I’ll definitely return to Leavenworth during the spring or summer!

It’s a great place to refuel and get reenergized…

#snowshoeing #leavenworthwashington, #bratwurstandsauerkraut #bratwurst #sauerkraut #germancuisine #refuel #naturesbeauty #winterhiking #hinking #newadventures

Leavenworth, WA Snowshoeing (End of Day 1)

Following the route for our third option, we had to pass through several smaller towns. I’ve never been in this part of Washington state before so I was enjoying the scenic route. My son was in the back seat and took a little nap and his girlfriend was riding shotgun. 

The third option took us up through Stevens Pass, which is where a lot of folks ski and snowboard. As we approached the base of our climb the weather started turning from rain to a snow and ice mix which made road conditions tricky. But my truck Betsy was handling it just fine. 

As we climbed, the temperature reading on Betsy’s gauge was showing a steady drop from 45 fahrenheit to 34 to 27.  

As we reached the top near the entrance to the Stevens Pass, the temperature gauge showed 25 and Betsy caught some ice. 

Now after we left the second route clogged with cars stuck in the snow, I switched Betsy back to regular two wheel drive. So when Betsy caught ice on top of Mt. Baker she was still in two wheel drive. 

Now let’s step back even further. I’m not a native Oregonian but hail from the southern part of Texas where snow is seldom seen and hardly ever will you find icy roads. The only experience with snowy and icy roads were through a simulation during drivers education class in high school (which was many, many moons ago). 

Another part of this scenario was the variable speed limit sign was reading 50 mph. We were going about 45 when we began sliding. 

It’s funny what your mind remembers. I handled the spin as I should have and let off the gas and steered in the direction of the spin. Betsy started spinning the other direction. I followed her spin and steered in the new direction. She began spinning the other direction again. I quick steered in the new direction and Betsy finally straightened out. I switched her to 4 wheel drive and immediately felt all four wheels engage with the snow and ice surface. 

I’m not sure what was going through the mind of my son’s girlfriend as we began to go into a spin. But the look on her face indicated it wasn’t pleasant. After recovering from the fishtail spin, I looked over and apologized to her as I saw her eyes were 5 times wider than normal. I reassured her that Betsy won’t spin out again for the duration of our trip. 

And Betsy held true to my word. The rest of our destination was uneventful other than the spectacular beauty of the snow covered trees and riverbanks. 

We pulled into Leavenworth around 4:30, found a place to park, and walked about town. The buildings were architectured and designed to look and feel like a small German town.  

Earlier that day the town held their ice sculpture and snow carving competitions. The results were on display. They even had their town Christmas trees fully decorated with brightly colored lights and ornaments in the town square. 

We found a restaurant and had a great meal and headed back to my son’s and his girlfriend’s apartment. This time I had Betsy in 4 wheel drive all the way up and down the mountain. 

But we still haven’t snowshoed! That’s tomorrow’s adventure…

#snowshoeing #leavenworthwashington, #bratwurstandsauerkraut #bratwurst #sauerkraut #germancuisine #refuel #naturesbeauty

Leavenworth, WA Snowshoeing (Day 1)

I took a break from my normal after work and weekend routine of home repairs and searching for a date. I have to note that I never thought finding a date through the online dating sites was this hard of work. 

It’s definitely different than the older days when you met someone face to face strike up a conversation and go from there. With online dating, you have to first get them to respond, which has been my toughest challenge. I guess my inexperience with eflirting is showing. Is there an online flirting for dummies book?

My routine over the last seven weeks is just that “a routine ” and no longer fun. I need to find a way to fill me up. Some people get refilled by hanging out with other people. I get refueled by being out in nature. 

So I took advantage of  the long three day weekend over the Martin Luther King holiday and headed to Leavenworth WA, which is about 5 hours away. The plan was to do some snowshoeing. 

Per my research, the MLK weekend just happened to align with Leavenworth’s ice festival, which is filled with various family oriented activities as well as the not so fierce competition for ice carving and snow sculpture. 

In preparation for my trip, I had to buy some gear so I stopped off at my local REI store and dropped $400 on new winter weather garb. You’re probably thinking, “Don’t you already have the winter outerwear?” 

Well I did…You see I went through a physical transformation and lost about 80lbs and so my old outerwear would have double (maybe triple) breasted me. 

Back to my story…

 On Friday afternoon, I packed up my truck (Betsy) with my new outerwear [jacket and pants], boots, gloves, camelback, and change of clothes for my three day adventure and headed out.

My oldest son doesn’t approve of my solo hikes so this trip he and his girlfriend are coming with. I get to their place (Des Moines,WA) in a few hours and we made last minute adjustments for the following day’s snowshoeing trek. 

Saturday morning arrives and we get dressed and headed for our destination after stopping to buy and eat breakfast sandwiches, supply of water, and of course coffee. In order to get to Leavenworth, we had to cross Mt. Baker. So we checked the WADOT road conditions after purchasing our supplies and it looked like the best route was I-90. So off we went…

About an hour into our trip, we slowed to a complete stop on the chosen freeway. We checked the conditions again and the weather became too severe that they closed the mountain pass on our freeway. Determined, we all pulled out our iPhones and looked for an alternate route. What would we do today without our smartphones?

 Another hour passed with no forward movement. We were literally parked along side other vehicles – which is my worst traffic situation. I hate sitting in traffic and not moving. In that hour, we moved about 500 feet. 

While waiting for the traffic to move, we decided on the first alternate route and also selected the backup plan, just in case this next option was also closed. 

Finally there was a break and I gingerly edged into the exit lane and found freedom from the traffic snarl. I quickly found the alternate route and not more than a mile into it, we immediately found this option lined with smaller cars not equipped for traversing the snowy roads. So we again waited – ugh!!

 I watched as several cars turned around, got stuck, moved a few feet, and got stuck again. It was quite comical as they tried to maneuver through the other stuck cars littered along the side of this two lane mountain road without chains on their tires. 

I was ranting to my passengers, “It baffles me that people go out on these road conditions without proper tires and or chains. I have a 4×4 pickup truck and I also have chains just in case.” My son sarcastically replied, “Thank God other people are not like you.” We all laughed. 

We decided to use our third option. But we couldn’t just yet as we needed to wait for the cars in front of us to do their slip and slide u-turn (more like a 10 point turn). 

Finally, it was our turn. I put Betsy in four wheel drive and easily turned her around and maneuvered her through the snow and slush. As always she made it through without any problems. 

By the time we backtracked to our 3rd option, it was about 1PM. So our initial snowshoeing plan was not feasible for that day as it’ll be dark by the time we arrive at the snowshoe rental place. That’s when we all vowed, “We’re buying snowshoes for next season!” 

We decided to continue on anyway and partake of the night festivities in Leavenworth. But first we had to get through the snow covered mountain pass…

#snowshoeing #leavenworthwashington, #bratwurstandsauerkraut #bratwurst #sauerkraut #germancuisine #refuel #naturesbeauty

Your Intro Message is Boring 

I had lunch with Jackie and Lois (my wing women) Tuesday this week and one of the topics of conversations we had was about my online dating results, or in my case, the lack of results. Or I should rephrase that as very poor results. It’s been seven weeks and I’ve only received four responses out of 88 messages I’ve sent. 

Jackie asked to see my intro message. I found the most recent one and showed it to both of them. 

“Well that’s your problem!” Jackie exclaimed. “Your intro message is boring, and it looks like a system generated message. You should have shared this with me sooner!” She went on to say, “You have to make it personal and unique to engage them.” 

Lois joined in, “Yeah, Sam that’s boring. I wouldn’t respond to that either.”

Let’s back up a few steps. Jackie and Lois are both happily married to their awesome husbands. Although they been out of the singles world, they are my insight into a woman’s world and how women think. Together they make up the perfect resource for getting me back into the dating scene. 

Back to my dilemma regarding my dry, mechanical, easily ignored intro message. 

I explained to both of them, “I put all my details on my profile and I say in my intro message to review my profile and if they like it to drop me a message.”

Jackie instructs, “That’s not how online dating works! The women on the site gets lots and lots of messages and you have to stand out if you’re expecting to get a response!”

You may be asking how my married wingwomen Jackie knows this stuff. She actually worked for a company that built websites and apps. One of their clients (okcupid) was launching into the online dating scene.  

 Part of her work was to research other online dating sites to understand the user interface and how it operated.

So I now have an expert in my corner. Well…an expert on how online dating services work. 

So I said in an exhausted manner, “So basically Jackie you’re saying I have to start over again.” 

She looked at me as if I was crazy and replied, “No you send out new messages to the ones you’ve previously reached out to.” 

With a confused face, I asked, “Wouldn’t that work against me and make me look desperate?” at which Jackie came back with, “No you won’t!” She reiterated, “The women on these sites get tons of messages and they’ll most likely respond to messages that are engaging, witty, and uniquely stands out.”

“Even if they’ve already viewed my prior messages?”, I continued probing. 

“Believe me,” Jackie pushed on, “You could get a reply with one of them even if you’ve sent a message to them before! If you don’t, you definitely will not receive a reply!” 

Lois rejoined the conversation, “Sam, remember you get back what you put in it!”

So I’ll listen to my experts in this area, my wingwomen, and will go through the messages I previously sent out and make them personal and relevant. 

We’ll see how it goes…what else is there to lose other than finding me a date… 

and going through the number crunching once again.

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingprofile #dating #intromessage #besticebreaker #beingpersonal #beingrelevant

An Almost Date From Online Dating: week 7

Well I thought I had an actual date from the online dating site (eHarmony). We exchanged the icebreaker questions and then started conversing via the sites email system. All was moving towards an actual meet up. 

After several more email exchanges we felt safe enough with each other to exchange personal emails and continue conversing off the site’s email system. You know I had to make sure she wasn’t a psycho woman. You think I’m kidding but they’re out there!

As a side note, I have setup a separate email account just for dating so not to clutter my personal email. 

So back to the story. All was progressing to a face to face date. Per her email, she wanted to meet at a local Starbucks and/or possibly have lunch at a near by restaurant. But I had this sneaky suspicion (you know that little voice in my head that talks to me, and no I’m not crazy). That voice whispered, “she’s going to flake out.”

 In the emailing back and forth, we had decided to meet up the coming weekend. Fine and dandy, right? Well as the weekend came closer (Friday) all communication from her stopped, which for her wasn’t awkward as she typically takes awhile to respond. 

So I sent another email to her on Friday early evening (6ish). Still no response. “Fine!”, I said to myself. “Let’s just wait and see.” I was thinking maybe she’ll respond later that night. I checked my email before I went to bed and nothing. 

I’m an early riser. So come Saturday morning, got up, made my espresso and checked email. This was about 5ish. Nothing. So I wondered, “Should I send her another email?” I decided, “No she’s a grown woman. If she flakes out then it’s not meant to be.”

Throughout the day, I periodically checked my email just to see if she responded. Nothing. Next day (Sunday), same thing. Nothing. 

 Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t sit around all weekend on her beckon call. I ran errands, replaced my kitchen faucet (details in a separate post), and did my normal weekend chores (cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking for the next several days). Also I did some things for work.So in spite the no show, I had a productive weekend. 

So why would you do this to someone? That is tell them you would go out with them and then drop all communication a few days prior and don’t respond. I would think if you were a decent human being you drop a line and let that person know you’re not coming to meet them, right? 

Hmm – I hope she didn’t get hurt and couldn’t respond. 

Well, she didn’t get hurt. Per her apology email a few days later, “She got really busy at work and forgot to follow up.” Really? That’s a lame excuse, right? 

I responded to her email, “No worries. Our meet up wasn’t meant to be. Have a great day.” Too nice, right?

But it’s okay. I believe what comes around goes around. Treat people right and do good to people and good things will come your way (eventually)…and vice versa. If you treat people badly then people will treat you badly in return…

So here’s the stats for my online dating adventure.

  • eHarmony: 43 icebreakers initiated; 3 responded (which includes the no show I talked about in this post)
  • Match: 23 messages sent; one response. Then there was Shelli who initiated the conversation. I’ll detail that one in a separate post – holy moly was that one a doozy. 
  • Zoosk: 22 messages; no responses 

So that’s 4 responses out of 88 conversations initiated. For you geek minded folks like me, that’s a 4.5% response rate or a 1:22 ratio. Or in other words, I would get one response for every 22 messages I send, and still resulting in zero dates.

Hmmm…maybe I’ll take Jackie’s suggestion and try speed dating instead…

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingprofile #speeddating #stoodup

My First Online Match (Kaboom!) – part 5 of 5

The next morning I received my usual and anticipated text from Shelli and was looking forward to actually meeting her face to face. Now I hadn’t told her I was planning a trip to see her because I wanted it to be a surprise, and I thought it would be a romantic first meet.

The night before she also said she was going to send me an email and wanted me to really think it through before I responded. 

To give some context, her last relationship didn’t end well and she, like me, has trust issues. In our intimate discussions we talked about our past relationships and that we subconsciously know that all people are not the same and that we won’t necessarily get treated badly with the next person we build a relationship with. Regardless, the sting of distrust is a common thread between us. 

Her email from last night was entitled “If I Allow You In My Heart” and it was long. But I read through it. Now…I’m not a fast reader and I have to sometimes re-read sentences and paragraphs to ensure clarity and context. 

In the first several paragraphs, I can tell Shelli was also looking to have a face to face encounter. She talked about always thinking about me the first thing in the morning and couldn’t wait to hear how my day went, and also loved catching up during the day. I have to admit, I did too!

Then the tone and writing style changed in the next paragraph and that tone and writing style continued to the remainder of her email. I had to scratch my head a little and re-read it several times. It just didn’t fit with the first three paragraphs or the prior conversations we’ve had. 

The remainder of her email read, 

If I allow you into my heart which is a very special place, can I trust you to hold it or will you throw it back in my face? Will you give it alot of love,kindness and affection, or will you lie and mislead it in all different directions? Would you take care of it as it would take care of you,or would you rip it out and step on it with your shoe?If I allow you in my heart which is capable of generating warm feelings of love your way, would you hold it tenderly and caress it each and everyday? A heart as bright as the sunshine rays lighting the very corners of you soul, holding you taking your breath away.If I allow you in my heart,through all it’s up and downs will you be there holding it to the end, understanding it’s emotions not allowing your love to bend?If I allow you in my heart to feel the warmth of your hand will you embrace it with your love,your passions,your plans?If I allow you in my heart will I know your love for it is real,will you cherish it and show it how a real woman feels?If I allow you in my heart will you fill it with all of your manhood your pasion your fire, the very essense of you…your desire?To get in my heart it will except no imitation, if you promise to love, cherish,and take care of it, my heart extends to you..
I would love to stop here for now.
God Bless
Shelli

In my initial reaction I thought, “That’s strange!” Then I thought well maybe that’s a poem she wrote. 

Looking back to the previous emails and texts, it didn’t fit her writing style as I noticed before. So don’t think she wrote that personally. 

So I thought for a bit and came to an idea that perhaps it was a lyric to a song.  So of course, with technology at my fingertips, I googled it. 

 Confusion and horror hit my gut simultaneously as if Mohammed Ali hit me with one of his 1-2 punch combinations. I re-read the last part of Shelli’s email and it was verbatim to what I found. 

To my shock, it wasn’t a poem…

It was copied from a website, almost word for word mind you, about a series of scam letters from 1970’s between a lady named Nicole Bates and her target man named Clifford. 

“It can’t be true!” I hoped to myself. 

I quickly re-read through all the emails between “Shelli” and me and nearly vomited. Most everything we talked about, her responses, her inquiries, were laid out in the scam letters from Nicole to Clifford. If I had eaten breakfast before reading “Shelli’s” email, I probably would have spewed it all up. 

I was sickened and irate! I fired off a text, 

Hi – so I’m not sure how to respond because I think you wrote the first three paragraphs but then the writing style changed. I was reading something online about letters. Your last paragraph is almost verbatim to the last paragraph in letter #2 in this article. 

http://www.stop-scammers.com/letter.asp?id=9608

Can you please explain?? I thought you were real???

Please tell me that you’re real??? I thought we really had something in common. 

Well of course “Shelli” never responded. 

My little voice in my head kept telling me something wasn’t right, but I never imagined it to be this…a scam…

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingnightmare #textdating #loveletters #scamletters
 

My First Online Match (My Wing Women) – part 4 of 5

Wow I can’t believe the past few days! I like that Shelli’s become addicted to me, and I’m getting there too. Can that be possible? After all, I met this beautiful sweet lady online three days ago and now I’m planning a weekend trip in my mind to visit her.  

I had a few minutes between meetings so I popped online to find last minute flights to meet this beautiful, gorgeous, sweet, and kind hearted woman. 

Let’s step back a few emails. Shelli and I don’t live in the same state. We actually don’t live in the same time zone. She’s one hour ahead and resides in Arizona. 

As I’m contemplating my travel for the upcoming weekend, Jackie had come over to talk with Lois. So I meandered over to Lois’s desk and joined the conversation. 

When they asked what my weekend plans were I told them I was thinking of going to Arizona and Jackie asked, “Why?”

So I let both know about the past few days and brought them up to speed (for the most part). They don’t need all the intimate details. I showed them Shelli’s pictures and that I was planning to meet this person face to face. 

Jackie exclaimed, “Why do you want a long distance relationship? You should find someone local!” Lois added, “Yeah! Besides women with Pitbul dogs are trouble!”  

Shelli sent me a picture previously of her and her Pitbul dog. 

So I continue down this rabbit hole and asked, “Let me ask you both. Why would this girl, who’s very beautiful and gorgeous even consider me?” Jackie immediately responded, “Why do you say that! You’re not ugly!” I retort, “I know I’m not, but look at me and now look at her.”  

I’m pointing to Shelli’s pictures. I continued, “Come on. Next to her I’m like the beast in ‘Beauty and the Beast‘!” Lois pipes in, “Maybe she’s after your money!” We all laughed. 

I had to run to my sessions of meetings. 

I have to pause and say Jackie and Lois are my best buds and they will always shoot straight from the hip and let me know the dirty truth (or at least their honest opinion). It’s great to have them as friends and wingwomen in my corner!

The rest of the afternoon was a session of what seemed to be endless meetings. I was brain dead and exhausted and finally left the office around 6ish. 

I fired off a text to Shelli that my day was finally over and headed home for my exercise routine.

I got home exercised, ate, and unfortunately fell asleep. I awoke a few hours later to find I had received several texts from Shelli. I apologized and she figured I had fallen asleep. She knew I had a long day and understood my exhaustive state. We ended our night early and said our parting pleasantries and wished each other good night. 

Is it possible to be in a relationship if you haven’t physically met that person face to face. 

“Wake up, Sam!”, my inner voice was screaming in my mind. 

“The undertow has sucked you under the water…keep fighting and swim to the surface!!!”

I stayed up a little longer to find a weekend flight! 

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingnightmare #textdating #loveletters #wingwomen

My First Online Match (Her Friends & Love Letters) – part 3 of 5

Every morning since we winked at each other I have a text that usually starts with “Good morning…hope you slept well…what’s your plans for the day…” 

For someone I just met, I don’t think I would be that personal and that close as Shelli and I have become. Our texting conversation moved quickly into a deeper discussions about feelings and what we thought about. 

It was really weird to find that kind of connection that soon. It’s as if I had met her at a bar the night before, we got sauced, we ended back at my place, and now she’s waking up next to me every day…literally…via my iPhone. 

What’s even stranger was…I didn’t mind it. However my sixth sense was practically screaming in my ear with one of those giant megaphones but I couldn’t hear it. Someone slap me awake!

The second night of texting marathon creeped into the wee morning hours of our third day. She told me that she’ll send me an email with more questions. I told her, “I look forward to it.” We both ended our texting with good nights… 

the green warning flags were once again flying…

The next morning I received my now “usual” text from Shelli wishing me a good morning and asking about my schedule for the day. I replied, “today would be very busy with back to back meetings in both the morning and afternoon.” It was a Wednesday, which is typically my busiest day of the week.  

She texted back her itinerary for her day. 

Now…would you call this a relationship? I just met this beautiful virtual lady online two days ago and this is now our morning routine. Was this really happening? I haven’t seen Shelli face to face but now I really want to…

Shelli informed her day was light and that she was meeting her friend for lunch. This was her friend that had met her husband on match.com and who also persuaded Shelli to join match.com to find her mate. 

We exchanged our morning pleasantries and told her to have fun catching up with her friend. Hmmm…Are morning “pleasantries” like virtual hugs and kisses before we go off to work?

About mid morning Shelli checks in and texted to let me know she’s going to lunch with her friend. I replied back, “Have a great lunch and have fun visiting with you friend!”

About half hour or so later, Shelli texted saying they’re having a great lunch and just wanted to let me know that their lunch conversation is now all about her and me. Shelli went on to say, “My friend thinks you’re great and I can’t wait for you to meet her!”  To which I replied, “I look forward to meeting your friends as well!”

Since Shelli has no relatives living close to her, you could say that her friends are her closest relatives. Wow! The more Shelli and I text and email each other, the more I want to meet her face to face. 

We texted later on that afternoon with more pleasantries and check in for the remainder of the day. She informed she was going for a run. I replied,”Be safe and have a great run.”

She sent a picture of her on the trail in her running outfit. I responded, “You look beautiful!” She thanked me and also confessed, “Sam, you’re constantly in my mind…I think I’m addicted to you…”

…the double red, stay out of the water flags are now flying.

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingnightmare #textdating #loveletters