After several email exchanges, Olive and I picked a local coffee shop. It provided a public setting and also allowed for conversations. After ordering and paying for our drinks, we found a corner to occupy. Music wasn’t too loud and the seating was comfortable.
It’s been said that attraction to someone is like eating something you’ve never eaten before. Ok maybe that’s my saying! Ha!
As an example, when I’m presented with something new to eat, it first has to look appetizing. If the food isn’t plated well or doesn’t look good, then I’m most likely skeptical about eating it. Wouldn’t you be?
When I first saw Olive, my mind ran through the checklist. Is she nicely dressed? Does she have a cute or pretty face? How’s her hair ? Body shape (is she too tall, too skinny, curvy, ect.). I think these questions are probably the same questions that goes through most (if not all) our minds regardless of gender.
On looks alone, Olive was…okay but not someone I would actually select on my own. Because Olive was introduced via a mutual friend, I continued on with our date.
We sat and began getting to know each other.
Back to the food analogy…if it passes the visual test, I immediately smell the food.
Now I’m not recommending you go up and sniff a person when you first meet them (that’s just weird). But you can generally smell the perfume or body spray. Some women are very fragrant and obvious as you can smell them from across a crowded room. And that fragrant grows stronger as you approach them. If the fragrance is too overpowering, that’s an immediate red flag for me.
My mind begins the slew of questions, “what is she hiding? She’s obviously getting attention with her strong and abundant fragrance…why? Did she not bathe today?” Of course my filter is on and the questions are only internal in my mind. Olive didn’t have a strong fragrance. She had a faint hint of a floral scent, which was again…okay.
Olive and I sat for several hours. I read her most of the time. She fussed a lot with her scarf, which showed her nervousness. Or perhaps it was an obsession of some sort. In the time we sat there she braided it, untied it, and braided it again many times that I lost count.
Our conversations were broad strokes. We talked about our families, work, and interests. Although we talked a long time, I didn’t feel that special connection. Maybe because we’re too similar. She and I agreed with most things – even politics. So the first bite was also just okay.
After about three hours of casual conversations, we decided to end our first encounter. We hugged (I don’t kiss on the first date) and agreed to meet again in 2016.
For my second bite, I’ll throw in an outdoor activity and she if she’s game. We’ll see if it leads to a third bite…
In the meantime, I’m still cruising through another week of possible matches provided by the online dating algorithms, sending out the icebreaker questions, and dropping messages to half a dozen of new matches. For this week, my strategy is to keep the messages short and simple and suggesting a conversation over coffee instead of trying to be witty. We’ll see if this produces any interest.
If you’re keeping score…old fashioned dating method (2); online dating (0)…
#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingprofile