An Almost Date From Online Dating: week 7

Well I thought I had an actual date from the online dating site (eHarmony). We exchanged the icebreaker questions and then started conversing via the sites email system. All was moving towards an actual meet up. 

After several more email exchanges we felt safe enough with each other to exchange personal emails and continue conversing off the site’s email system. You know I had to make sure she wasn’t a psycho woman. You think I’m kidding but they’re out there!

As a side note, I have setup a separate email account just for dating so not to clutter my personal email. 

So back to the story. All was progressing to a face to face date. Per her email, she wanted to meet at a local Starbucks and/or possibly have lunch at a near by restaurant. But I had this sneaky suspicion (you know that little voice in my head that talks to me, and no I’m not crazy). That voice whispered, “she’s going to flake out.”

 In the emailing back and forth, we had decided to meet up the coming weekend. Fine and dandy, right? Well as the weekend came closer (Friday) all communication from her stopped, which for her wasn’t awkward as she typically takes awhile to respond. 

So I sent another email to her on Friday early evening (6ish). Still no response. “Fine!”, I said to myself. “Let’s just wait and see.” I was thinking maybe she’ll respond later that night. I checked my email before I went to bed and nothing. 

I’m an early riser. So come Saturday morning, got up, made my espresso and checked email. This was about 5ish. Nothing. So I wondered, “Should I send her another email?” I decided, “No she’s a grown woman. If she flakes out then it’s not meant to be.”

Throughout the day, I periodically checked my email just to see if she responded. Nothing. Next day (Sunday), same thing. Nothing. 

 Don’t get me wrong, I didn’t sit around all weekend on her beckon call. I ran errands, replaced my kitchen faucet (details in a separate post), and did my normal weekend chores (cleaning the house, laundry, grocery shopping, cooking for the next several days). Also I did some things for work.So in spite the no show, I had a productive weekend. 

So why would you do this to someone? That is tell them you would go out with them and then drop all communication a few days prior and don’t respond. I would think if you were a decent human being you drop a line and let that person know you’re not coming to meet them, right? 

Hmm – I hope she didn’t get hurt and couldn’t respond. 

Well, she didn’t get hurt. Per her apology email a few days later, “She got really busy at work and forgot to follow up.” Really? That’s a lame excuse, right? 

I responded to her email, “No worries. Our meet up wasn’t meant to be. Have a great day.” Too nice, right?

But it’s okay. I believe what comes around goes around. Treat people right and do good to people and good things will come your way (eventually)…and vice versa. If you treat people badly then people will treat you badly in return…

So here’s the stats for my online dating adventure.

  • eHarmony: 43 icebreakers initiated; 3 responded (which includes the no show I talked about in this post)
  • Match: 23 messages sent; one response. Then there was Shelli who initiated the conversation. I’ll detail that one in a separate post – holy moly was that one a doozy. 
  • Zoosk: 22 messages; no responses 

So that’s 4 responses out of 88 conversations initiated. For you geek minded folks like me, that’s a 4.5% response rate or a 1:22 ratio. Or in other words, I would get one response for every 22 messages I send, and still resulting in zero dates.

Hmmm…maybe I’ll take Jackie’s suggestion and try speed dating instead…

#singleasianmale #onlinedating #datingprofile #speeddating #stoodup


8 thoughts on “An Almost Date From Online Dating: week 7

  1. Don’t bother crunching numbers – 3/4 of eharmony users aren’t even on the site anymore. Match users can’t even read your messages unless they have a paid subscription – only message ones with the green border around their picture.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. This is a great post. It only takes a moment to let the other person know that you will not be able to make it to your date – just the decent thing to do. I have tried speed dating and as fun as that was, I didn’t like anyone who showed up so it resulted in nothing. I would still recommend you to try it at least once though.. it’s definitely an experience!

    Liked by 1 person

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