Online Dating: week 12

I didn’t do much activity with the online dating sites this week as I’ve found it to be very tedious with very little results. So for me it’s not where I want to spend my time. 

One of the things I did differently was to attend an eflirting webinar.  

My thought was that maybe I was doing something incorrect that was not enticing female members to respond. Turned out I was doing the right things already.

  1. Establishing a connection
  2. Sharing
  3. Inquiring 

The eflirting webinar also boiled it down to a numbers “game”. Meaning the more inquiries you send out the higher your response rate and the better the results to obtaining an actual face to face date. 

Duh…and I paid money for that information…

There was also some tips for creating searches on Match. But you can google that which is free. My advice would be don’t waste your money or your time. 

Based on my numbers for online dating, I’m at about 1% for getting a face to face date. So out of over 200 inquiries, I had two actual face to face first dates. Sadly neither of the two would result in more dates as there wasn’t any chemistry (at least not on my end). 

Another observation is online dating takes up a lot of time. In the past 12 weeks I spent about 20 hours a week searching, answering questions, sending inquiries, and maintaining my dating profiles. Basically it became a part-time job with no benefit other than I could say I’ve tried it. 

So I’ve decided to back off the online dating sites and focus on my budding relationship with Shelly which has naturally grown more intimate as we learn about each other. However I’ll continue to post my life experiences as a single Asian male until such time I become partnered. 

Unless Shelly and my relationship stops growing, this would be my final dating summary. Here are my numbers. 

  • eHarmony: 85 icebreakers initiated; 9 responded; 2 face to face dates
  • 58 messages sent; 6 responded; 0 face to face dates; 1 spam that I detailed in a series of post – it’s a doozy but worth the read (here’s the link:
  • Zoosk: 79 messages sent; one responded; 0 face to face dates

Online dating – 16 responses out of 222 conversations initiated. Response rate remained steady at 7.2% or a 1:13 ratio and resulted in two face to face dates.

Speed dating – 19 face to face conversations; 3 I selected; 1 of which selected me in return and is now growing into a stronger relationship with several dates already completed and several more dates planned. 

    #singleasianmale #onlinedating #textdating #loveletters #speeddating #buddingromance


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