Shelly arrived at my house closer to 6pm. She had been in an indoor/outdoor workshop for teachers and was dressed like she’s been out hiking in the woods. Purple wool knit cap, all weather lined jacket, faded blue jeans, and fur-lined waterproof boots.
Based on our prior conversations, she knew I kept a clean and tidy house.
As she took off her outerwear and boots, I asked, “Would you like some wine?” To which she replied while smiling, “Well Yes.” I opened a new bottle of Bordeaux and poured us each a glass as we shared how hectic our week were.
After discussing our week’s events, I began the tour of my house. Based on Jackie’s suggestion, I prefaced the tour with, “I just moved in four months ago and still need to decorate my walls as they’re a bit bare.”
We were already standing in the combination living dining room space so we walked over to the wine cabinet area. She saw my box of wine corks and commented, “So you haven’t started your cork project?” I had mentioned my cork frame project in prior conversations.
We then moved to the master suite which I preempted by repeating the fact that I moved in a few months prior. Shelly agreed that my master bedroom walls were bare and needed sprucing up with something decorative.
Shelly noticed my excessively large bed to which I informed that I combined my old queen and twin bed sets to create my one of a kind bed. We both laughed.
I ushered her into the on suite. She commented on the neatly folded and hung clothing in my walk in closet.
Next section of the house was the upstairs. We paused a moment so I could points out the stairs and the steps with different carpeting.
At first she didn’t notice but after a few seconds she identified the three steps with different carpeting. She jokingly suggested, “You could make every other step have different carpeting to create that unique pattern.” We both laughed.
We climbed the stairs to the landing and sat on the sectional. I mentioned and provided explanations about the decor or lack of. We toured the remaining exercise room, upstairs bathroom, laundry room, and finally the messiest of rooms- my office.
We headed back downstairs and I brought her into my favorite domain- my kitchen. This is where I spend most of my time and where my OCD really shines. It’s evident in the pantry and my spice cabinet as all the labels are faced front.
Now everyone I know has a junk drawer in the kitchen where things go to die and get rediscovered at a later time and the phrase “oh that’s where that is” gets uttered in a surprising tone.
I went for broke and revealed my tidy junk drawer where I have a mixed assortment of items from hand tools to vitamin bottles and sticky notes. Of course the labels of the bottles were facing up and the tools were organized and the sticky notes had their respective containers. By this time Shelly was fully indoctrinated into my OCD world. She laughed and at the same time looked shocked. “Did I just lose her?” I wondered.
In my mind my house wasn’t as organized as it should be, Shelly was overly impressed. Throughout the tour she made several comments as to the level of organization I had.
I brought her up to speed on the discussions had earlier that day regarding how my friends thought my house was decorated as if an old gay guy lived in it who has OCD tendencies. Without missing a beat, she nicknamed me affectionately as her “metro sexual” guy she was dating. We later relabeled me as her “renaissance” man.
Just to set the record clear, I’m as straight as straight can be…
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