My Sundays normally start slow and remain low key. Well I couldn’t do that this past Sunday. I spent the night at S’s house and with the looming end of year coming and my garage is not close to being vacated, or at least rearranged enough to begin parking my car in there, I needed to get home.
I fail miserably during the week nights to get motivated to work on my garage project as long work days drain me mentally. I’m also transitioning into a new area at work which requires me to ramp up quickly thus I’m breaking my rule of not bringing work home. You have to do what you have to do right? I’m hopeful it’ll begin to slow so I don’t have to work long hours as I have been.
You have to go???
I woke early and completed my morning routine before S even stirred awake. I was downstairs making coffee when she came into the kitchen. She saw I was already dressed and my bags were by the stairs next to her front door.
The fourth of July is an awesome holiday here in the USA as that’s when the big displays of fireworks are anticipated followed by ooos and aaahhs as the colorful, controlled explosions unravel in front of the gathered spectators.
There were no spectators uttering their ooos and aaahhs, but there was an explosion all right.
“I don’t see you much and you’re leaving soon!” S started in as she realized not only was I dressed, but I had brought my bags down from her bedroom, and I also fixed my hair.
After 10 months, S has learned that I don’t venture out unless my hair has some product in it or I’m sporting a baseball cap.
In the words of Obama…”settle down”…
I explained that I still need to work on my garage, and that I have a goal of getting my garage project done before the end of the year with the main reason is that I could again park my car in the garage. I extended an invitation for her to help me, which I knew she would decline. It’snot only she wouldn’t help but also because she would be chauffeuring her children in various errands throughout the day in preparation for the coming school week.
A life coach…one of my many talents…
We had a heart to heart discussion for about an hour, which afterwards, I took her out for lunch. During our discussion, she opened up…well actually I’ve observed most everything she mentioned already so it wasn’t new to me. But it did confirm my readings.
She admits that her attitude has been shifting especially with her kids and her parents and she doesn’t want to be so volatile so quickly. She’s also under a lot of pressure with being a single parent of active teenagers who demand a lot more work than she has energy. She also confessed that she feels like a failure.
I asked if she knew why she feels the way she feels now? After listening, she concluded that she’s not happy with herself. I asked what was her top things she wasn’t happy about herself. She rattles off her list and number one was her size.
Size is not everything…
I’m going to pause here because I don’t understand this ladies. Why is size always at the top of your lists that you don’t like about yourselves. Personally I blame this on magazines and TV shows. For me (and I bet there are many men like me), the person inside is more important than what you look like on the outside. A gorgeous, slender, proportionately appealing woman could be the biggest turn off because she’s mean, ugly, and downright horrible on the inside. My advice is make sure your inner house is clean before you worry about the cosmetic outer shell.
About an hour later had passed, I jokingly said, “this session is free but I do want you to come regularly to talk through your feelings.”
We both laughed. She replied, “just add it to my tab,”
So although, I didn’t leave as early as had planned, our intimate conversations brought light that she wasn’t naive about her social awkwardness with her family and kids, especially her younger son. It also reassured me that she truly wants to be a better person.
I told her that I had something to help her but she wouldn’t be getting it until we opened our presents on Christmas. I think I could actually help and best news is…she wants me to help her…
#lifecoach #life #singleasianmale