8th week update (our annibirthary)

Thursday of the 7th week, I reached a stopping point of my personal projects which meant I still had a few hours to go to prepare for the upcoming weekend with S. I knew I couldn’t have everything done, so I multi tasked and was packing for my weekend while I continued on my person project work. 

Dating update…

The weekend was crammed full of events so I had to appropriately pack several and varying attire for each venue. The first was a concert to one of the bands that S loved. On the following day, we had a chocolate and wine pairing event hosted by one of the wine clubs to which S belonged. This event was one of the wine club’s ‘member appreciation day’. Later that Saturday evening, I had made reservations to a nice and local restaurant to celebrate our one year anniversary and our upcoming birthdays. And finally on Sunday, my secret plan was to take S on a personal shopping experience of getting her iWatch. We later named the two weeks as our ‘annibirthary’. Of all the events planned, I was looking forward to the last one because for one, it’s a secret and S doesn’t know she would be picking out her personal gift. And two, I like seeing people’s expressions when they get a surprise gift – I couldn’t wait for her surprise. 

By 1AM Thursday (probably closer to 2AM), I had completed the things I needed to do, which only left a couple of hours for some shut eye. 

“I’m going to be dead tomorrow,” I whispered out loud to myself as I crawled into bed. Five  minutes later, or that’s what it felt like, my alarm was buzzing and the time was showing 4:30AM. 

“Yep! I’m going to be dead today and don’t know how I’ll function tonight as I’ve got to go to that concert with S,” I scolded myself. 

I hit snooze and drifted off for a few more seconds until my alarm sounded again after another 9 minutes had lapsed. I repeated the process and hit the snooze button again taking in my few seconds of power naps between the rude yet helpful “wake up! It’s morning! You’re going to be late!” alarm. 

I finally fueled up from the power napping after about five snoozes later. Good thing I live close to my “bobbing in the sea of life” job that I could have snoozed a couple of more times. “I need coffee and lots of it”, I whispered to myself as stumbled into my kitchen. 

It only took a few sips of my espresso to awaken me to a full functional state. “I can do this! It’s Friday!” I exclaimed, which in reality was more of a somber statement and not as enthusiastic as what I had really needed. In reality, I just wanted to crawl back in bed and sleep for another half day. 

Luckily I pushed through last night to get everything packed and to which I had the fortitude to have laid out my attire for today, which would also be the same attire I would wear to the concert later that night. I’m glad my alter ego laid out my clothing for this morning so I didn’t have to think about it. 

I left my day job about 8 hours later (about 3pm),  which was a lot earlier than I normal do so that I could swing by my house and pick up my bags for the weekend. I thought about changing my attire but opted to remain in the same clothes I had worn to work. My attire was fine but hindsight I would have changed as I was wearing khakis, a hooded jacket, and tennis shoes that matched the color of my jacket. Most folks at the concert were dressed about the same comfort level as I was so I was fine clothing wise. I just don’t normally dawn a super casual outfit for going out and about on a date night. 

The last few dates, I’ve managed to score front row parking spots which S lately have made comments to my luck, “how do you find these perfect parking spots. I never do but you, you just turn the corner and there it is.” 

Now I’ve been with S for a little over a year, and I’m beginning to understand the tea leaves for when our date would be a good date and when it wouldn’t. Tonight started a little rocky as she was non jokingly shaming me on my luck for finding prestigious parking. I hoped it would quietly slip into the night, but it didn’t. There were a few more jabs on her part as we ate at the restaurant across the street and opposite the concert hall to which we would enter and be seated within an hour listening to a band she claims as one of her favorites. 

During dinner, S continued her typical slide into her “I’m in a bitchy mood and you’re going to sit there and listen to it” zone. My last attempt to snap her out of this unpleasantness was trying to be a gentleman and offered her the last of the appetizers that remained in front of us on our table. 

She goes into a diatribe “…I had already said I didn’t want it…” 

I interrupted her in mid tounge lashing, “I was just trying to be a gentleman.” 

Instead of taking the hint and saying a pleasant ‘thank you’ she continued her response of, “…but if I wanted it, I would have told you the first time you asked me if I wanted it…but as I blah blah blah…” 

I said nothing and picked up the last of the food in front of us and finished the remainder without acknowledging anything she had said and left her in the open, awkwardness of the space she put between us. After she finished her rant, I continued my silent eating and didn’t respond and just sat there and finished off every tiny morsel of the appetizers and continued to let her wallow in that awkward space a while longer. From her prior rants, I learned not to venture into her emotionally negative tail spins with her. It’s her invitation to argue and I wasn’t going to do it. 

She finally commented, “I wanted that last bite.” to which I mumbled as I swallowed the last bite “nope I’m no longer a gentleman and I’m not sharing.” She smiled and commented that I was funny. 

Now I could have paid the bill and just left her there at the restaurant and went back home, but I didn’t as I knew that this emotional tailspin was not about me but about her struggle with control. Remember the post I posted a few weeks prior about our discussion where I learned more about her power struggle? At that time and still is for now, I’ve decided to continue playing for a little longer. How much longer is the question to yet be answered. 

The rest of the night was fine as we both enjoyed the concert. The opening band (Con Brio) was out of San Francisco and played nonstop for 45 minutes. It was a great opening act. The featured band (The Revivalists), who S claimed were one of her favorites, played for 1.5 hours. The concert ended around 11:30PM and we still had another hour drive to S house. 

I’m sleeping in…

The next morning I stayed in bed way past my “up before dawn still dark outside” typical get out of bed time. And I had continued this laziness well into the next hour after I did arise from my ‘lack of sleep from the night before’ rest. 

S was up making us both coffee as I came downstairs. She appeared to be in her ‘none power struggle’ demeanor. In a few hours we would go out for breakfast and later proceed to our chocolate and wine tasting event. 

I’ve not been to a wine and chocolate tasting before but basically a wine gets paired with a locally made chocolate. The chef was the one who made the chocolate and the wine pourers were the folks who help paired the wine with the chocolate. This was a great experience trying something new. This was also S’s first time at a wine and chocolate tasting. 

The remainder of the day was pleasant with a calm and peaceful afternoon as we meandered and discovered a new to us BBQ place whose owner hails from Dallas Texas. S invited one of her best friends, and her best friend’s husband, to join us. We sat and visited without any control issues coming to the surface. S and I were both filled from the BBQ restaurant that we decided to cancel the fancy dinner reservations and save that experience when our bellies were not as full. 

You’ll need to make a decision…

The next day after I made us breakfast and washed our morning breakfast dishes, we got ready and ventured out to get her surprise. I anticipated that it would be a great day with no squabbling as it was a day focused on her, which she didn’t know yet. 

On the trip to our afternoon destination, I gave her a heads up that she would need to make a decision. She confessed that she thought we were going car shopping for me as I’ve been looking to get a different car, but her making a decision was a wrinkle in that thought. She tried guessing but I told her that even if she guessed it correctly, I would deny it. 

We reached our destination, an outside mall called Bridgeport Village. We walked to the placard that showed “you are here” and found the destination store, of which I only made a mental note and didn’t say it out loud. We approached the Apple Store and she couldn’t believe it. Her smile was priceless. Three hours later, we walked out with her “annibirthary” gift – her personal iWatch. 

Sunday night…

She remained excited and was in a great mood the rest of the afternoon and evening. There was one small moment when she did have a power struggle and became short again on Sunday night after dropping her younger son at her parents’ house, to which I stopped her and firmly stated, “I was just asking a question…don’t go there!”

She took a second and was fine. 

The rest of the 8th week…

Monday was a holiday for a lot of folks, which unfortunately, my employer was not part of the companies that gave Presidents’ Day off to its employees. Because I spent the Sunday night at S, I commuted to work the second Monday in a row. This time around, the total trip time was a little shorter and I reached my office a few minutes before 8AM. 

The rest of the week was again focused on my personal projects. But I did spend most of the time on the phone on Wednesday with S as that was her birthday. 

Personal thoughts…

Why do I select women who have internal power struggles? I must like the challenge or else I would be attracted to just those Barbie type women with no real substance other than their outer appearances. Instead I’m drawn to women struggling with their inner conflicts. Of course the latter isn’t discovered until months of dating. But then why do I stay after the inner struggle issues had surfaced.

More for me to figure out. Until next time, stay safe online and offline. 

#life #lifeasithappens #lifeasiknowit

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