Week 11 update: hanging with the ex

Week 11 was primarily still focused on the start up of my new project as the ramp up phase is crucial (and the hardest) to making any venture successful and also because it is the exciting part. They say that when you are able to see your dreams come to reality, it’s time to jump in and fully commit. I’ve envisioned myself doing this for a couple of years now, but the timing wasn’t right. However, the timing is now right and so now it’s happening. I can’t wait to share it completely. 

Now because I’m spending time focused on my new project, my other project (my food blog) has taken a short hit in production where I’ve only made one of my dishes in the last two weeks with the camera rolling, and I still haven’t got the video ready for production yet. Once I get beyond this initial state of starting up my second venture, the cooking blog will return to its normal release cadence. 

Or, maybe I’ll hire myself a personal assistant and they can work on video production (haha), but on second thought why not. I’ll put that thought on the back burner. 

Change…it is inevitable…

Another wrinkle is stuff happening at work. On Tuesday, Jackie came by my desk and informed me she had to make a decision on which career path she would be taking as she also informed me that our department is being reorganized or “rewired” as I guess that’s the new buzz word. I’m supposed to be told about the org change later in the week and was instructed by Jackie to act surprised as she wasn’t supposed to say anything.

Sure enough, my boss came and sequestered me and him to a closed door session a few days later where he informed me about the org change. I wasn’t supposed to know so my practicing of being surprised paid off and was apparently spot on. Or at least that’s what I’m telling myself because my boss literally asked, “Oh, you didn’t know?” after telling me about it. 

Short story, I’m supposed to report to a new manager whom I’ve never met before and who doesn’t know me or the other project managers she’s acquiring in this org change. The change is effective on 3/21. They say everything is supposed to stay the same, but do they really? I’m anticipating maybe nothing will change until the first of June as that is when my employer starts its next fiscal year. 

At that point I’m anticipating a huge change in the direction of where my career path would go as the group of project managers being rewired is a hybrid bunch in that we also manage scrum (iterative development) teams. Most of us hybrid managers are responsible for multiple projects and for multiple teams and a few of us also act as product managers in that we tin cup any new request by securing additional funding. So we’re not the normal project manager, or the typical scrum master, or the run of the mill product manager. We’re all three (and then some) all wrapped up in one. So it’ll take some time for management to figure out how to handle our small group of multi faceted PMs. 

Maybe by the first of the fiscal year, my second venture would be mature enough to give me my exit option, which is much sooner than I had anticipated, but if the timing is right then the timing is right. I guess I’ll really need to think about hiring a personal assistant, but that’s many weeks away at this moment. 

Of course the rest of the work week, it was hard focusing on actual work as now the looming org change was coming right around the corner and the rumor mill was rampant, which pushed me further from work mode for the remainder of the work week. 

So enter my pet project…

Now I do a very good job of not mingling my personal endeavors during business hours, and I’ve given up my lunch time many times to complete work, or work in preparation for afternoon meetings. The lunch hour is personal time anyway so, for this week, I decided to forego using my lunch hour for work and instead use it for my personal project. I’m glad I did as I’m better positioned for the work I have to do the weekend of week 12. 

Cook or dine out…

During the week, S was doing her own thing which was good. For the weekend, we decided that I would spend the Saturday night and Sunday with her. On Saturday day she would be doing a back to back 5k run/walk with her girlfriends. Originally we were to meet up at her house afterwards and have a low key dinner with her and her kids. 

The results of our Friday planning session was now on the verge of being altered as another option surfaced during the day. I could still cook dinner for her girlfriends and their dates, or we could go out for Saturday evening and have the low key dinner on Sunday. I voted on option one, which was to go out for dinner on Saturday night. I chose this as it was the best option and it gave us time for more interactions with her girlfriends and the dates. Otherwise, I would have been stuck in the kitchen cooking up food and S would be complaining about not having everything done at some imaginary time in her head, which if I had help from her it wouldn’t be a problem. But cooking solo for 16 people were not my idea of a fun Saturday night. 

Since Saturday became the dining out night, we changed plans for Sunday dinner to be our low key dinner with kids and now her mom and dad. The revised plan was to attend her daughter’s bowling fund raiser event, where apparently her ex and his wife would also be in attendance, and then grocery store for buying ingredients for dinner. But of course any revised planning with S is always subject to more change. 

Since the twins were with their dad on this weekend, their dad would be bringing them into town earlier than normal on Sunday so that they would attend their daughter’s fund raising event. At the event, S and I didn’t really mingle much with her ex as there were twelve of us on two lanes and we only had an hour and a half to bowl. He wasn’t that social either as we only chatted a few times during the bowling event because he would mostly sit down next to his wife (kids’ step mother) after his turn to bowl had completed. Also, I only spoke to his wife a brief time after the event. Maybe they were unsure how things were but maybe that’s their nature when they’re out in public. So I could see why S and her ex were exes. 

After the bowling event, S and I split directions as I needed to shop for dinner (for our small gathering of seven people) – us, her kids, and her mom and dad. 

Because I’m Filipino…

I don’t just cook for seven, I’ll cook for more than the number of folks as I don’t like my guests leaving hungry and wanting more. I think that’s just the Asian culture, which is completely opposite of how S is as she would only cook for herself and her kids. Her kids don’t eat her cooking much these days, so she mainly cooks for herself and rarely makes extra as her kids are picky eaters and would only eat her cooking if they like it. And S isn’t one that would make food that her kids love so there’s contention at dinner time as well with heated conversations containing phrases like “there’s no food here!” followed by an even sharper retort of “there is but you don’t like it” and yada yada yada. 

Since I’ve been staying on weekends and staying thru Sunday night, I usually cook which the kids eat and don’t complain about my cooking. In fact they make it a point to be there for dinner, which makes S a bit jealous but actually I think the kids like me cooking and I’m glad they are eating. So not sure why there is so much issues over the dinner table. Just make food your kids would eat. That’s another item filed in my mind about my relationship with S. 

It turned out that the small family gathering of seven mouths became 12 as S invited other folks to come over. I’m glad I purchased more food. 

Personal thoughts…

I feel that life is where it should be for me as I’m able to work on my personal projects, hold a good paying job, have personal goals that I’m bringing to fruition, and involved with a lady that for the most part has a good heart when you take away her mean demeanor and tone she has with her youngest child and her parents, and her emotional roller coaster ride she takes me through every now and then, and her selfish nature when it comes to food. I find those things are caused by her own baggage, and I’m not here to change how she handles her baggage. She’s the only one that could change that, and only if she wants to. I think I’ve learned to have more patience, especially when dealing in her emotionally charged atmosphere, which I’m finding harder to deal with than my business start ups. 

Until next time, stay safe online as well as offline…

#life #lifeasithappens #lifeasiknowit

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